Allen Family Ramblings

Life is Hard and There is Hope

2011-04-28T12:32:00.000-07:00

I read a Segullah blog post a while back asking for people to share happy things that are going on in their lives. I could use a list of happy events right now. I enjoy getting on Facebook to see how my "friends" are doing and what they are up to. The last month I've had 2 friends that have had tragedy strike their children. Cancer and a "life changing" neck injury. These friends have been blogging about their experiences and my mother's heart aches for them. My prayers are with them. I read their blogs and cry, and the spring rains cry with me. Their blogs testify of the hope they still have. The hope in happy moments even with the "finger nails on a chalkboard" reality that their child is sick and suffering.

A quote from http://sheawalkingonwater.blogspot.com, "We believe in the gift of healing." (and paraphrasing) healing even comes with death. Christ's gift of healing is for everyone, healing that can only come through Him. I think that is probably the most difficult thing for a mother is not being able to take the pain away. Only the Savior can do that. Again, my prayers go out to my friends. Prayers for comfort, healing, and peace. Prayers for the arms of angels around them during these trials.

New Year's Resolutions - things to do list

2011-01-02T20:18:00.000-08:00

I know my limits and my expectations of myself are low. That way I can be successful. I try to take on just a small, achievable amount. Here goes.

This year I want to figure out how to grow a better garden, learn more in the scriptures, be a better neighbor and friend, become more Christlike, keep life simple and meaningful, and finish the 3rd of 4 semesters of nursing school.

It sounds like a lot now that I write it down. But the only way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time.

All Caught Up In...

2010-01-03T18:35:00.000-08:00

It has been a year since I blogged. My friend, Bonnie asked me if I would update my blog. So Bonnie, this is for you.

What a year! "I Stand All Amazed"...at the blessings we have received. Dan got a new job...in Logan! Pretty incredible. My coping methods during his unemployment were probably unique, but it worked for me. I worked hard at my job at the Bridgerland Phone Book, and then started nursing school. My goal is to be self-sufficient and have marketable skills that I can use to support my family. It really helped me to focus on being proactive instead of on the undesirable situation. It helped me look forward with hope of a better situation.

I do still and may always struggle with obtaining balance in my life. I get all caught up in whatever is happening in my own life and lose touch with almost everything else. I feel for my kids. As I study, I hope they are getting caught up in what they are learning, too. I do love to learn. I hope that I am a good example to them in that area. Education is important, even vital. Loving to learn is a huge blessing.

I have been a bit competitive in school, but this last semester it wasn't like that. (Honest!) My goals are to do my best in school without going crazy, completely neglecting my family relationships, and to actually enjoy the journey of learning. Two years is a long time to go without enjoying it.

But there I go again, being caught up in school . . .me, my life. Where are the friendships that I've been good at making and keeping ? I remember you all fondly, and hope you are well. I'd like to be connected, stay connected, and make a difference to someone outside my minuscule circle. Where is the purpose? Who can do it all? It seems that some do.

I have a complaint. I have wonderful, sincere people at church, who ask me how school is on a regular basis. So the last few weeks I decided that I would briefly answer, then try to put the focus of the conversation on them. How are their goals going? What is happening in their lives? It didn't work! The one couple with whom I tried this gave me, "our holidays were great! How were your finals?" I then said, "fine. How was last semester for you?" to the husband who is working on his PhD.

"They didn't kick me out," he said.

I think the key that this couple has learned is to ask good questions. Though they are not so great at answering them. I want to know what is going on in others' lives. Who cares how finals went? They are done, in the past. School is school. Where are the real moments, the real conversations, where we can reach out, serve, and focus on others?

The thing is I know it is my fault. Because I'm so caught up in . . . whatever. I breath, eat, and drink one thing at a time.

I was actually listening to a friend who called me. It was refreshing to listen and empathize and be in the moment with her. It is good to get outside myself and try to put myself in another's shoes. My shoes are so comfortable compared to hers. I hope that by listening I can maybe ease her burdens. I can't take her troubles away.

I went to the funeral of JoAnn Autry yesterday. I, along with hundreds of others, call her a dear friend. It was said that she made friends and adopted them into her family wherever she went. Listening to her children talk about her made me want to be a better person. The ripples of her life touched so many others. JoAnn was all caught up in loving others unconditionally and turning her stumbling blocks into stepping stones. http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/deseretnews/obituary.aspx?n=joann-thorne-autry&pid=138538482 I'm so grateful for her example.

Today was a better Sunday than last mostly because I reached out and visited with friends and made plans to spend time with them in the next couple of weeks. I will find a way to connect, to balance and to serve-even when I'm in school. It starts again in two weeks. I'm excited for it to start, but I'm enjoying the break and the journey.

I do believe that the most important things in life are my relationships with God and my Savior, my husband, and family, and those adopted family members called friends.

New Family Picture

2009-01-02T10:30:00.000-08:00

We got everyone together for Christmas this year. I'm not sure how often that will happen with more grandchildren on the way. So we took advantage of it and took pictures. It is nice to finally have one with everyone in it.

Time

2008-12-15T22:23:00.000-08:00

A funny thing time is. I thought that I knew how time felt, but as I get older it feels different. Faster and faster it goes. I don't feel older. I guess I should. Maybe 45 is the new 35?
Another big block of time just flew past. I have something to show for it. I finished my Associates of Science at Utah State University. It is exciting to me! I have a piece of paper that says I finished something.
I'm truly enjoying the journey. I enjoyed all of my classes. I even learned a lot. I still love school. I'm finishing my nursing prerequisites (again) this next year. I'm waiting to apply into the program until the "time is right." It will probably be for 2010, but the way time flies, it will be here before any of us can believe it. Ryan said that it was so far away. I always said that I was on the slow boat to nursing. So what if I'm nearly fifty when I finish. I'm re-careering. My first and very most important career has always been that of "Mom." I love it! The pay isn't great, but the rewards are priceless.

I want to be educated when I grow up...

2008-10-20T00:05:00.000-07:00

I hadn't been to visit the Segullah blog for a long time. This is what I found. I love it!

"Who Do You Want to Be Today?

A few years back, when my three kids were nine, seven and four, I hit one of those turning points. A demarcation. I lived in Minnesota at the time, in a school district where summers were looooong, and I remember sitting at my computer one hot July day, looking out the window at my kids running around on the lawn, completely independent. They no longer needed me to tie their shoes or wipe their bottoms, rock them to sleep or buckle their seat belts. In many ways, it was a time to celebrate my own independence. Finally, I had some air to breathe, a little corner of quiet. Sleep. Oh, the sleep! It was everything I’d been yearning for.

Yet.

Yet I felt unsettled, unmoored by my impending freedom. For the better part of the previous decade, I’d been a mom of little kids. Sure, I’d done other things while they were small, but in many ways the tying and wiping and rocking and buckling were the actions that defined my days. Defined my life. The future was yawning (and I was well rested), which begged the question:

So what was I gonna do now??

What I did was get pregnant again. Halfway through my third child’s kindergarten year, we welcomed our caboose—our fourth and final child—whom my husband called our “hobby baby.” He’s been darling and fun (and crazy and exhausting). But this post isn’t about babies. It’s about choices. It’s about that time in your life when you stand on the dividing line from one phase to the next and find yourself wondering who (whom??) the heck you are supposed to be.

Perhaps it’s my age—I’m thirty six—but I feel like recently I’ve had an abundance of conversations with women my age about how to handle the next phase. The “kids are all in school . . . now what?” conversation. And inevitably, in almost every conversation, somebody says this:

“I want to (fill in the blank) but I’m afraid . . .”

I want to go back to work, but I’m afraid the other stay-at-home moms will judge me.

Vote for Life

2008-10-17T21:53:00.000-07:00

I saw this video on Candace's Blog. One of Ryan's friends said that the election should be pretty clear for LDS voters. The church stands for life and marriage between a man and a woman. Shouldn't our votes be for those who stand and support those two things?

I thought this ad was right on target! I hope the Catholics and other Christians will get out and vote for life!

This Was a First for Me!

2008-10-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

If you know me very well . . . which most of you who read this do, I am almost never late for one thing . . . school, and never when there is a test. But this morning I was running just a bit late. I couldn't get my hair to work right this morning, so I spent a few more minutes on it than usual. Then I had to take Dan to work because the truck is in the shop. So these two things had me running just about five minutes later than usual.

No big deal. I would be to school on time. So I grabbed my shoes out of my closet, threw them on, and rushed out the door. After driving Dan to work, I glanced at the clock and knew getting to class on time was going to mean speeding (just a little) and speed-walking across campus. I zoomed into the parking lot, into a stall, jumped out of the car, and realized two things. I didn't wear socks (which isn't unusual), and one of my feet was colder than the other. I looked down at my racing feet . . . and my shoes didn't match!!!! I had one black leather loafer on and a brown leather clog!!!! There was not one thing I could do about it. I had a test that I had to get to and had exactly 5 minutes to walk 3 blocks to my class.

My eyes were tearing a bit from the cold, but then I started laughing! I had tears streaming down my face as I hurried to class in my mismatched shoes. I looked around and there weren't many people walking to class. They were already in class. I thought, "no one will notice." I called Tessa knowing that she was between classes too, and told her of my silly situation. She thought it was very amusing. Unbeknown to me, we were walking on an intercepting path while talking. When we ran into each other, she looked at me and said, "Oh, mother!" We laughed for a few seconds together, and then had to run. As I waved good-bye to her, she laughed and said, "One shoe doesn't have a back and the other does! How did you not notice that?" There were several people around at that moment, and all I did was laugh harder.

I got into class about one minute late, and had to gather myself so that I could concentrate on my test. I was really thankful that I only had one class today in which I had to remain mismatched. My test took twenty minutes and I was out of there almost as fast as I had gotten there. I laughed on and off all morning. I hope that my testing went better than my dressing!

Our Country is in Crisis. Let us join in prayer.

2008-10-11T07:45:00.000-07:00

I found this on Anne Bradshaw's blog and think it is a great idea! Please spread the word.

"ONE MINUTE EACH NIGHT"

“This is the scariest election we as Christians have ever faced and from the looks of the polls, the Christians aren't voting Christian values. We all need to be on our knees.
“Do you believe we can take God at His word? Call upon His name, then stand back and watch His wonders to behold? This scripture gives us, as Christians, ownership of this land and the ability to call upon God to heal it. I challenge you to do so. We have never been more desperate than now for God to heal our land. This election is the scariest.

“2 Chronicles 7:14--'If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.'

“During WWII, there was an adviser to Churchill who organized a group of people who dropped what they were doing every night at a prescribed hour. For one minute, they prayed collectively for the safety of England, its people and peace. This had an amazing effect as bombing stopped. There is now a group of people organizing the same thing here in the United States of America and our citizens need prayer more than ever.

“If you would like to participate: each evening at 9:00 PM Eastern Time (8:00 PM Central, 7:00 PM Mountain, 6:00 PM Pacific), stop whatever you are doing and spend one minute praying for the safety of the United States, our troops, our citizens, for peace in the world, the upcoming election, that the Bible will remain the basis for the laws governing our land and that Christianity will grow in the US.

“If you know anyone who would like to participate, please pass this along. Someone said if people really understood the full extent of the power we have available through prayer, we might be speechless. Our prayers are the most powerful asset we have.
"Please pass this on to anyone who you think might want to join us.”

Diet and Health

2008-10-01T11:04:00.001-07:00

In the past I have read extensively about weight-loss and dieting. I have probably read well over thirty books since I was in high school. Almost everything that I have read addressed what to eat to be thin. I've learned basically that a person has to burn more calories than he eats to loss weight.
But being thin doesn't guarantee health. To have true health, a person must eat nutrient-dense foods, and enough of them to get an adequate supply of those nutrients. Sometimes this conflicts with eating to be thin. Recently I have lost 13 lbs doing what I know to lose weight, exercising almost daily and counting calories. But I know that I don't necessarily get the nutrients I need everyday from my food. So I take good whole food supplements and hope for the best. I think there has to be a better, more natural way.
My father has just read a new book called The China Study. He is has been eating a vegetarian diet for the last eight weeks. The book promotes eating whole grains, vegetables, and no more than 10% of one's diet in meat, and no dairy products. It includes comprehensive research and several double-blind studies. The evidence in the book is intriguing, to say the least. My dad has lost another 6 lbs eating as much as he wants of the "right" foods. He had already lost 30 lbs in the last year other ways. This diet is almost opposite of The Atkin's Diet in which he use to try to adhere a few years ago. He feels so much better! His blood pressure is down and instead of dragging around he has energy. The thing most interesting to me is that the principles in the book go hand in hand with The Word of Wisdom (Doctrine and Covenants 89).
I have yet to read it. He bought me a copy of the book, but I have been so busy that I haven't taken the time. It sounds like the diet, as written in the book, would supply the necessary nutrients to acquire true good health. I'm a bit intimidated by it. Totally changing the way I shop, cook, and eat would be difficult at best when my habits are so different. But what are the rewards? My family would eat better and be healthier just because I would constantly have fresh food around, even if they didn't eliminate all that I would.
I need to find the time to read the book and incorporate the ideas. Maybe I'd lose the last 5-10 lbs that I would like to, and be even healthier than I am now.

Emma Trying on Shoes at DI

2008-09-29T13:42:00.000-07:00

What to Blog? Politics, Blackbeard, Mesa Visit

2008-09-27T22:45:00.000-07:00

My friend bought Freddie Mac stock at twenty eight cents and it was up to $2 yesterday. She was really excited about it. She is banking on the bailout passing. I did some research and the Congressional leaders have reached an agreement, but it hasn't been voted upon yet in Congress. The word on the street is that it will pass, but narrowly. There has to be a better solution than this!

Mindy and I after Blackbeard

But onto happier things. I saw Blackbeard yesterday. It was wonderful. The music was beautiful, the comedy hysterical, and the intrigue marvelous. I laughed, I cried! I embarrassed Mindy because I'm a groupie. But I still love Jordan Bluth and Rob Gardner! Tyler Maxson was incredible. He sings and sounds like Richard Harrison from Camelot. This is him singing in this youtube video. So fun. Listen to the words!

The first night I got to Mesa I went and saw my favorite biology teacher, Mrs. Mary Whysong. I love that lady. I hadn't seen her in two years, so it was good to touch bases. She inspires me. Then I headed to Holly's house, watched my first episode of "The Office". Up early, at 8 to swim with Mindy and Emma in Holly's beautiful Hawaiian themed pool, including Tiki torches, and palm-frond huts. I should take a picture to add here. I went and saw Bonnie for about an hour. They are adding a giant RV garage and office onto their house. I'm happy for them. Then off to Hong Kong's Best Dining for my favorite Mesa Chinese food at lunch time.
We went to Deseret Industries to look at shoes. Mindy didn't find any, but Emma tried on several pair. I will add those pictures when I get home on my own computer. She is so darling!

Then we went to Mindy's for Emma's nap. I studied for my Abnormal Psychology test, and watched Queen's Bohemian Rhaspody on Youtube.

Not so sure why, but I love it. It definitely went along with my study of depression and mood disorders for psychology.

Then we took Emma to the other grandma's house and we headed for Chipotle for dinner. It was yummy. Then we drove to Phoenix to see Blackbeard. There was a Diamondback's game so parking was a bit of a joke. The Hermberger Theatre was plush, the audience small, but the entertainment fabulous! I talked to Rob, Tyler, and Jordan. Such talented young men. When Jordan ends up famous I can say I was one of his first big fans! I hope Rob gets his dream of Blackbeard going to Broadway!
So up this morning for an 8 am swim again. More studying, more playing with Mindy. We went to the Women's General Conference. President Ukdorf's talk was perfect about being creative and compassionate like God. I saw some of my Elmwood ward friends, but not many.
But I'm off to study some more psych. and listen to a bit more Queen. Tata for now:)

Amazing and Unique Talent

2008-09-26T15:45:00.000-07:00

Government Bailouts and the Economy.

2008-09-21T20:53:00.000-07:00

Dr. Craig Peterson of Utah State University said that this last week was the scariest week he has lived through economically and he is an economist.
Our government is proposing to bailout a number of failing companies to save the country from a severe economic downturn to the tune of trillions of dollars that they don't have. I believe it is a temporary band-aid that will only lead to socialism. Do we only believe in a free market except for when it doesn't work?
The mortgage industry loosened qualifications for mortgages so much that it jeopardized all of us. Investors artificially drove the housing markets up in places like Las Vegas and Phoenix. And to top it off, home owners used the inflated equity in their homes as credit cards and spent tomorrow's paychecks.
But we all know that hind sight is 20/20. I don't know much about the economy, government, or business, but I do know that I shouldn't spend money that I don't have. If our government is spending money that it does not have, it will have to take it from the people in the way of higher taxes. This only can hurt us in the long run. These bailouts will put our government in such a pernicious situation that can only be rectified by huge tax increases, which Obama proposes and will be more justified in implementing if elected. Even the Republicans will have no choice but to raise taxes. The people of Alma were in bondage to the Lamanites when taxed at 50%. We are so close to that now...higher taxes, inflation, bigger government, and on and on. Bondage.
My son, Ryan said that he would rather be working hard, poorer, and free than live under socialism. We have come so far from what our Founding Fathers built under the Constitution. I see it deteriorating more and more.
Tonight I wrote my congressmen and the white house. Is it too little, too late?

Mindy and Her Fun Friends

2008-09-20T22:30:00.000-07:00

I was just reading around in Blogland and came upon Mindy's and her friend, Amanda's blogs. The pictures show how fun these girls really are. If you haven't visited these blogs, go give them a looksie!

"Obtain the Prize"

2008-09-14T10:08:00.000-07:00

I found this on quote on ANWA's Founder and Friends. President Thomas S. Monson said, "Finishers have the capacity to visualize their objective--vision without effort [though] is daydreaming; [and] effort without vision is drudgery; but vision, coupled with effort, will obtain the prize."

I personally have been accused of not finishing what I start. I have a tendency to let life get in the way of personal goals. Sometimes that is appropriate, when it means that I am putting my family before myself, but other times it isn't. I have lost my vision, or changed it when I've learned new things or adjusted my perspective about what is truly important. As I told my mother once, I've stuck with the most important things in my life. I'm still a good mother and I'm still married!

Reading President Monson's words, "effort without vision is drudgery" helped me realize that at many times in my life I have done the work because it was necessary, but my heart wasn't in it. I'm thankful for that the work was available when it was needed, but I always hoped for a time that the work would be toward my dreams. I've been fortunate to have a husband that supports me in putting effort toward my visions. Someday I may even get paid again to do the work that I love beyond my family. But right now I'm finishing the education to get me there. I may be a bit old for college, but going keeps me young. It is never too late to pursue dreams and to finish goals. I didn't quit, I just postponed it until later.

Anne Bradshaw's Book Contest

2008-09-13T20:26:00.000-07:00

Anne Bradshaw is giving away Enjoying the Journey by Jaime Theler with Deborah Talmadge. Go enter the contest to see if you can win. Or don't so that I have a better chance! http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/2008/09/heres-contest.html

What Does Obama Want to Change?

2008-09-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

I have a number of friends and neighbors that are voting for Obama, and I really don't understand why they truly think he'll do a good job in the White House. I've heard them say that they want change, but what kind of change? They want out of Iraq. I can understand that. I didn't agree with going into Iraq when we did. I don't think that we should be the world's policemen. But to vote for Obama and get bigger government, more taxes, more socialism, more abortion? I just don't understand.

I whole heartedly agree with this email/letter from Joe Porter of Champaign , Illinois. This is just a little of it.

"I have yet to find one single person who can tell me distinctly and
convincingly why this man [Obama] is qualified to be President and
Commander-in-Chief of the most powerful nation on earth - other than
the fact that he claims he's going to implement a lot of change. We've
all seen the emails about Obama's genealogy, his upbringing, his Muslim
background, and his church affiliations. Let's ignore this for a
moment. Put it all aside. Then ask yourself, what qualifies this man to
be my president? That he's a brilliant orator and talks about change?
CHANGE WHAT?

"Friends, I'll be forthright with you - I believe the American voters
who are supporting Barack Obama don't have a clue what they're doing,
as evidenced by the fact that not one of them - NOT ONE of them I've
spoken to can spell out his qualifications. Not even the most liberal
media can explain why he should be elected. Political experience?
Negligible. Foreign relations? Non-existent. Achievements? Name one.
Someone who wants to unite the country? If you haven't read his wife's
thesis from Princeton , look it up on the web. This is who's lining up
to be our next First Lady? The only thing I can glean from Obama's
constant harping about change is that we're in for a lot of new taxes."

It scares me to death! Obama has no true track record in the Senate. What does the man really stand for? Look at his jet!

He took the American flag off of the tail of his jet!
Snopes says this is TRUE -- http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/airplane.asp

Go read the book Obama Nation to see what this man truly stands for. He doesn't believe in the America that the founding fathers set up, of checks and balances, and limited federal government. He believes that the government knows better than the people, that the government should cure all the social ills.

Let's give the government all our money and see how they manage it...oh, wait, the government has a track record of this. It pays for other people's abortions when I don't believe in abortion. It pays for illegal aliens' health care, food, and education without being able to tax them. Look at the mess in New Orleans. The government isn't set up to take care of all the people. People should be mostly accountable for themselves. True charity, where people care for their neighbors, is better than socialism any day. But if I'm forced to give the lion's share of my income to the government in way of taxes, I won't be in the position to help my neighbor. Let's look at socialized medicine in other Canada. People in Canada come here for treatment because they can't get life saving procedures in time in their country. It isn't working there, why will it work here?

Voting for Obama to me equals less freedom, higher taxes, more world-wide government, less national security, and less national sovereignty. I thought that when the nation voted in Bill Clinton and didn't hold him accountable for his perjury or adultery, we would then be punished for our iniquities. Could that have been 9/11? Knowingly voting to reduce our individual agency, and accountability is just as bad. But do the good people of my neighborhood really know what they are voting for? I think not. Obama is indeed a good persuasive speaker. Is that enough?

I Couldn't Have Said it Better!

2008-09-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

Candace Salima hit the nail on the head with the following post on her blog.

"Liberal Media Attack Sarah Palin and the Western Way of Life

Posted by Candace E. Salima

September 09,
2008

Warning: Serious rant ahead. Really, really serious rant ahead.

Maurine Proctor of Family Leader reported: "They hate Palin because she is a feisty, vibrant, can-do reformer who represents everything they hope to marginalize. She believes in life, marriage, family and religion. She believes in good and evil, right and wrong and is willing to say it. When faced with giving birth to a Down's Syndrome child that studies show some 90% of parents would have aborted, she not only gave birth to Trig, but says of him , "Sometimes even the greatest joys bring challenge. And children with special needs inspire a special love."

"Governor Palin has the Left shivering because she can be such a powerful force to rally the enthusiasm and hope of ordinary Americans who still hold traditional values. She has reignited the troops in the culture war.

"Examples abound of Palin's shoddy treatment. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd compares her nomination to watching a chick flick. She writes: "This chick flick, naturally, features a wild stroke of fate, when the two-year governor of an oversized igloo becomes commander in chief after the president-elect chokes on a pretzel on day one.

"The P.T.A. is great preparation for dealing with the K.G.B.," President Palin murmurs to Todd, as they kiss in the final scene while she changes Trig's diaper. "Now that Georgia's safe, how 'bout I cook you up some caribou hot dogs and moose stew for dinner, babe?"

Gloria Steinem offered this in an opinion column, "This isn't the first time a boss has picked an unqualified woman just because she agrees with him and opposes everything most other women want and need."

I don't even know where to start! I get so sick of people, like these two morons above, and yes I know exactly who I am calling a moron and I'm standing by it! I have to assume that people who have never had to work the earth for their food, care for the cattle or bison, hunt wild game in order to feed their families, don't really know where food comes from. In all their ignorance and stupidity they trot on down to the grocery store, or pay someone to do said trotting, wander up and down the aisles picking up packages of food without ever stopping to think where it came from or the people who made it possible to be there." Read more...

Also, here is the You Tube video of Sarah Palin's acceptance speech for you who missed it. Candace is right, Steinem and Dowd can't discredit Palin's strength or tenacity in standing for family, life, or the true American way so they have to resort to ridicule of those very things.

The Mom Song

2008-09-07T20:42:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Candace Salima I now know how to post videos off of You Tube. I'm so excited! This is the first one that I saw ages ago that I just had to have on here. I could sing it to my children every morning and never have to talk to them the rest of the day!

The Freedoms We Enjoy From the Sacrifice of Others

2008-09-07T08:41:00.000-07:00

This last week in my American Institutions class at USU, we watched a video about the Revolutionary War. In it was a man quoting Thomas Paine in Common Sense.

As I sat in class, the truth of these words brought tears to my eyes.

"The Sun never shined on a cause of greater worth. 'Tis not the affair of a City, a County, a Province, or a Kingdom; but of a Continent — of at least one-eighth part of the habitable Globe. 'Tis not the concern of a day, a year, or an age; posterity are virtually involved in the contest, and will be more or less affected even to the end of time, by the proceedings now. Now is the seed-time of Continental union, faith and honour. The least fracture now will be like a name engraved with the point of a pin on the tender rind of a young oak; the wound would enlarge with the tree, and posterity read in it full grown characters."

To be a beneficiary of the sacrifice of those patriots who cared more for the freedom of our country and their fellowmen than themselves, leaves me humbled, and grateful, without words to adequately praise them.

I've considered myself a quiet patriot. But as I sit in class and learn more about the knowledge and understanding the founding fathers had and the sacrifices they made, I realize that I am only a lazy recipient of others' diligence. I need to repent, to get involved in the current fight for freedom. As I look around at the state of my county, it has come so far from the full freedom our founding fathers secured for us. And I know that I haven't done much to preserve that freedom.

I've enjoyed it. I've taken advantage of the rights that I have to pursue happiness, to worship as I see fit, to educate my children in my home, to speak out, to hold differing views and not have to hide in fear of my government. But how long will it be before my own slothfulness, combined with those around me, will take those precious freedoms away? I truly fear the answer. I hope it is not "everlastingly too late."

After the video, Dr. Craig Peterson said that he never hears the words in Common Sense without choking up. I was glad that I wasn't the only one. If only I can remember the heritage that I have been given, and do my personal best to preserve it.

Advice from Elder Bushe

2008-09-07T08:39:00.001-07:00

I found this this morning and it is beautiful. Just what I needed to set my Sabbath day off right.

Sarah Palin

2008-09-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

On Candace Salima's blog I found the full content of Sarah Palin's speech. If you missed it, go give it a read. You can also go watch highlights of it here.

I thought she was great!

(side note: she is only 2 months older than me! Wow, we are young!)

Margarete and the dreaded disease of CCQ

2008-09-02T20:10:00.000-07:00

This evening I went to my American Institutions Student Instruction (SI) supplemental class. I met a lady who is a bit advanced in years to be attending college (yes, even older than me, by about 20 years). Her name is Margarete.
I visited with her and asked her about her current enrollment at Utah State. She said that she often gets questions about "what she wants to be when she grows up?" I laughed because I get that a lot, too. I even ask it to myself. Her answer is, "educated." I like that answer. I think I'll borrow it from now on.
Margarete said that school is her "expensive hobby". I can relate! She also said that she needed to stay away from her past disease of CC&Q. When I questioned her about what that meant, she said, "Crocheting, Cross-stitching, and Quilting!" I think I'll hang out with Margarete more at school. She makes me laugh.

Far World Author Interview

2008-09-02T19:44:00.000-07:00

Farworld, Water Keep by J. Scott Savage
Back cover;
" Other people may see thirteen-year-old Marcus Kanenas as an outcast and a nobody, but he sees himself as a survivor and a dreamer. In fact, his favorite dream is of a world far away, a world where magic is as common as air, where animals tell jokes and trees beg people to pick their fruit. He even has a name for this place--Farworld.
"When Marcus magically travels to Farworld, he meets Kyja, a girl without magic in a world where spells, charms, and potions are everywhere, and Master Therapass, a master wizard who has kept a secret hidden for thirteen years, a secret that could change the fate of two worlds.
"But the Dark Circle has learned of Master Therapass's secret and their evil influence and power are growing. Farworld's only hope is for Marcus and Kyja to find the mythical Elementals--water, land, air, and fire--and convince them to open a drift between the worlds.
"As Kyja and Marcus travel to Water Keep, they must face the worst the evil Dark Circle can throw at them--Summoners, who can command the living and the dead; Unmakers, invisible creatures that can destroy both body and soul; and dark mages know as Thrathkin S'Bae.
"Along the way, Marcus and Kyja will discover the truth about their own heritage, the strength of the friendship, and the depths of their unique powers."

Welcome, Mr. Savage to Old Main Hill at Utah State University in Logan, Utah. Thanks for visiting my hometown.
Mr. Savage, do you go by Scott or Jeff?

At home I go by Jeff. But while promoting my Farworld series, it's easier to go by Scott. Honestly though, you can call me anything but late for dinner.

I'll try to remember that! Is it okay to address you by your first name?

I don't know. I kind of like people saying, "Hey Savage!" Actually though, that makes me think I am back playing football or in the army. I definitely like being called by my first name.

Scott, I am a big fan of your previous books and was wondering why you chose to write fantasy?

Thanks. I'm glad you like my other books. I really didn't "choose" to write fantasy, even though I love reading the genre. I'd have to say it chose me. I didn't think I could write it, because it was so different from what I have read in the past. But I had this idea stuck in my head that wouldn't let me sleep. I started writing this book at 2:00 AM to prove to myself I couldn't do it and get this crazy storyline out of my head. But five hours and five thousand words later, I realized I was writing a fantasy and I was having a ball doing it. The rest of the book seemed to flow almost as easily. Now that I've done it though, I'm really glad I did.

That is so unfair that writing comes so easily to you! How long did it take to write your initial draft of Farworld?

Three months from first sentence to last sentence. But much editing thereafter.

Have you always wanted to write fantasy?

I've always loved reading fantasy. But it is such a different genre style, that I felt I couldn't pull it off.

Who is your favorite fantasy writer?

I love so many of them. Books, Donaldson, Gaiman, King, Straub (I believe horror is a subgenre of fantasy.) They all bring different strengths to the table.

How many genres have you written in?

Well, I've published High-Tech thriller, drama, mystery, and fantasy, but I have a supernatural thriller/horror that I hope will be published in the not too distant future.

Wow, you really are a well-rounded writer! I've read almost every book you've written, but I don't know about reading horror. I'll probably try it because you are the author. What is your favorite genre?

They are all fun but different. Fantasy probably has the most freedom.

When is your next book coming out?

Well, Farworld book 1 comes out in September, then my next Shandra book in the Spring, then the next Farworld in the fall of 08. Other than that, we'll have to see.

I will have a lot of reading to do to keep up with your writing! What is your favorite part of Farworld?

Depends on whether you mean the book or the world. I’ll combine the two a little bit and say that my favorite part is trying to understand how things work. What is the basis for magic and why does it operate the way that it does? We’ve peeled back the onion enough to see that there are elementals under the skin, but what are elementals really? Why do they exist? Where did they come from? And what does the Dark Circle hope to accomplish. It’s like scientists here learning about the atom.

Is there anything special that you would like to share with us about the book?

I just want to tell readers not to think they’ve seen everything yet. If Water Keeps level is all there was to the series, it would be a fun read. But I don’t know that it would be memorable. I hope that as things begin to expand, people will really be surprised that there is more to this than just a fun little romp through a magical world.

How many reviews have been written so far on your blog tour?

Over a hundred for sure. I haven’t done a full count lately.

Do you feel that it has been successful thus far?

Definitely. I really wanted to get two things out of the tour. One was obviously to get the word out about the book. And I think that tour had done a good job of that. But the second was to get quality feedback from a large group of really intelligent readers. That is so helpful in seeing your strengths and weaknesses as a writer. This has been incredibly successful in that regard.

I'm sorry that I don't have more readership on my blog to help publicize your book.

It’s not all about eyes. It’s about planting seeds and getting valuable feedback. You have definitely done both!

I wish you luck in all your future endeavors.

Thank you! Great questions.

Farworld Book Contest Winner

2008-09-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

The winner is...(the competition was high as you can see:)

Amanda Kristeen!

Thanks to all those who participated!

I'm waiting on the author to send answers to my questions before I post the review. I'm sure you are all on pins and needles!

How fast can you answer these questions?

2008-08-29T21:46:00.001-07:00

Mindy had this on her blog and I had to try it.

I know: the older I get the less I know (from Yentel).

I have: so very much to be thankful for.

I wish: I lived by a warm ocean.

I smell: fall in the air and love it!

I miss: my Mesa friends and life.

I hate: …evil, but not much else that I can think of.

I fear: life rushing by too quickly and unnoticed.

I crave: more good girlfriends.
I search: for happiness…but know I’ve found it already!

I regret: ever criticizing my kids because they always remember!

I love: so many things! My wonderful, supportive husband, my amazing children and Emma, my children-in-laws, the smell of coffee, fresh fruit, having friends to play with, and a good laugh.

I always: worry about the past too much.
I believe: that everyone is trying his/her best.
I dance: with Emma, or to embarrass my teenagers.
I sing: because it fills my soul.
I don't always: floss my teeth like I should.
I am not: as much of a perfectionist as I use to be.

I write: a few blog posts, but wish I wrote more.
I lose: the months and years way too fast. Where do they go?
I win: Uno

I never: never say never…it catches up to you and bites you in the butt.

I listen: not as well as I should. Sorry, guys.

I am scared: no, I’m not…
I am happy about: being healthy, strong, fairly young, and almost being in my skinny jeans

I GOT IN! I GOT IN!

2008-08-27T09:31:00.000-07:00

I got the following email in my box this morning!

"Congratulations! Based on your recent audition, you have been selected as a member of the new American Festival Chorus (AFC). Our first rehearsal will be at 7:00 pm on Wednesday, August 27, in room 214 of the USU Fine Arts Center.
We look forward to singing with you this semester.
Gayla M. Johnson, for the American Festival Chorus Board"

I honestly was so surprised because I really did blow the first part of my song for my audition. Wendy even said I should have started over and let them know I could sing. When I got the email I started crying those happy tears for which I am so well known. Wendy is in, also. We start practicing tonight. We are going to have so much fun.

Rob Gardner has done it again!

2008-08-26T06:39:00.000-07:00

Composer Rob Gardner has composed a new musical, Blackbeard. You can go to his website and watch video clips and listen to music clips here. I wish that I were in Phoenix to go see it.

Carpe Diem

2008-08-25T19:53:00.000-07:00

Today was the first day back to school for Utah State, and me. Tessa thought I was a little crazy because I kept saying. "Isn't this fun being here?", "What a wonderful environment!" and "I love school and everything about it!" So maybe I' m a little over the top, but that is exactly how I feel about it.

The sky was clear of clouds and the sun just warm enough this morning for me to wish that I had worn my capris and flip-flops. I would have worn them if it hadn't been for the half mile walk that I had to make from where I parked to where my class was.

The campus was full of young, vibrant adults, smiling and rushing to classes. Going to school almost makes me believe that I'm one of them.
I forget until I look in the mirror that I'm twice their age and not so young anymore.

But I don't look in the mirror very closely or very often, so I'll live my dream and live as if I'm one of them.

Choir Audition

2008-08-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight I auditioned for the American Festival Chorus. I didn't feel terribly nervous until Jay Richards hit my first note and it sounded too high. I started singing and totally choked on the first phrase of my song. After I got started, I think I pulled it together alright by the end of the song.

I may have redeemed myself with the sight reading though. I only missed one note that I came in a third too high on. They played it for me and I sang the rest with no trouble. Brother Jessop said that I "nailed it." That made me feel good because Jay Richards, who has been in on all the auditions, said that last week they had 55 people audition and only five were able to sight read well. Hopefully it will make up for the botched beginning.

I wanted to cry on the way home, but if I don't get in it will be okay because I will be plenty busy with 9 credits at USU, part-time work, and my family.

Mormon Soprano Blog

2008-08-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

I just visited Mormon Soprano's Blog.
I love it. I can open up to her "listen" page and have great music playing while I am online. What a treat! I've just started exploring it. Go take a listen and read. It is great.

Singing Fills My Soul

2008-08-18T22:43:00.000-07:00

Craig Jessop, formerly the Mormon Tabernacle Choir director, is leading a new Cache Valley community choir called the American Festival Chorus. My sister Wendy said that we have to audition for it. I'm feeling a bit chicken, but we are going to go for it. I'm singing "Danny Boy" and she is singing "Amazing Grace". I have wanted to sing in a good choir for a long time. The only problem is that I've never practiced sight reading. I have a day to learn how to. Hmmm.

Well, it will be a good experience no matter what happens.

Farworld Update

2008-08-17T21:18:00.000-07:00

For all y'all who entered the Farworld book contest, I am going to be drawing for the free book on August 30th. Anyone who wants to enter still can. I am also going to have the book review done by then, also. Mindy and I have started it, we just need to write it up and send the questions to the author.

Great Articles on Postpartum Depression, and Anxiety

2008-08-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

This is so refreshing. I knew that I had found a great resource at WomentoWomen.com, but after I have been searching the internet all week for natural remedies for PPD and not finding much at all. I received an email with this article on PPD that completely backs me up and gives more tips for helping hormone imbalances. Read here, it is great!
Another article on the same website is on anxiety and the natural remedies for it. Here is the link for that. It is very enlightening also!

A side note, on the email I got from Woman to Woman they had this information about Omega-3's:

"Some research on omega-3's shows promise for preventing, and possibly treating, depression. Researchers recently found that people with high levels of omega-3's in their blood had more gray matter in the sectors of the brain associated with positive emotions and moods, while the subjects with mild to moderate depression symptoms showed decreased gray matter in those same areas. More research is needed to determine whether omega-3's actually cause this phenomenon, but it's safe to say that healthy omega-3 levels can mean a more positive outlook on life and lower rates of memory loss.

How many omega-3's should you get in your daily diet? The average American only gets about 200 mg of two of the most important omega-3 fatty acids, eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) per day from their diet, and the American Heart Association recommends a much higher intake of between 1000-3000 mg. Here is our quick rule of thumb:

If you have a healthy diet and no symptoms	600 mg/day	Our Essential Nutrients has you covered
If you have joint pain, depression, mood swings, feeling overscheduled/rushed, anxiety attacks, etc.	1,000 - 2,000 mg/day	Our Essential Nutrients plus an additional omega-3 supplement, or consider adding more deep water fish to your diet.
If you need to lower your triglycerides	2,000 - 3,000 mg/day	Our Essential Nutrients, plus an additional Omega-3 supplement, plus more fish in your diet."

Thanks, Women to Women and Dr. Northrup! It is so nice to have such credible back up to the things that I have found work myself!

Postpartum Depression

2008-07-29T21:35:00.000-07:00

Postpartum Depression can start anytime in the first year after delivery of a baby. In the first 1-2 weeks after birth 80% of women experience some "baby blues" which are wide mood swings brought on by the hormonal changes taking place in a woman's body during those weeks (see about.com:pregnancy and childbirth).

If the feelings of depression continue beyond that, it is then considered Postpartum Depression (PPD). Sometimes the fatigue and depression can be from anemia or low thyroid. It is best to have those things checked out in a blood test by a physician. If those items check out fine, often the depression is linked to continuing hormone imbalances (Dalton, Katharina: Depression after Childbirth. (Oxford University Press, 1985) . Dr. Dalton explains in her book that the pituitary gland doesn't send the message to the endocrine system to produce the necessary hormones, including estrogen, progesterone, and thyroid. According to Dr. Dalton, natural progesterone is safe for use during breast feeding and can help with most symptoms of PPD. With my fifth child, my doctor had me have (I believe the dosage was 100 mg) progesterone shots for 10 days, and then wrote me a prescription for 2 100 mg progesterone suppositories a day, one in the morning and one in the evening.

I felt better than I ever had after any of my other childbirths. I took 50-100 mg. of B6 and a good multi-vitamin, and made sure that I got plenty of rest. (One way to help insure that you get plenty of rest is to read On Becoming Babywise by Robert Bucknam and use his methods. I wish I'd known them with my first four!) At about 4 months postpartum, I walked a minimum of 30 minutes 4-5 days a week. I should have started at six weeks postpartum, but I still felt great even though I wasn't exercising.

I would say that my PPD was moderate with 3 of my first four children and moderate to severe after having Tessa and a traumatic delivery including severely hemorrhaging and being anemic. After having Tessa (who is #3 for me) I was almost completely cured when I started walking 4 days a week on a treadmill when she was 3 months old. I didn't even know what PPD was at the time. I just knew that I felt incredibly better after exercising for only a week.

The link above from About.com is a very helpful website. I have been searching for websites that offer natural remedies for PPD, but haven't seen any that recommend progesterone therapy so far. I know that it made my postpartum experience 95% better than the others had been previously.

If a woman has a history of bipolar disorder or prior depression before childbirth, she is much more likely to have PPD and should talk to her doctor/midwife about prevention of PPD before she delivers her baby.

The nice thing about this treatment for PPD is that it treated the root of my PPD and didn't have the side effects that other treatments can have. The progesterone did increase my appetite, but that is the only side effect that I noticed. (Another reason that I should have started exercising sooner!)

A good book to read about PPD is Behind the Smile: My Journey Out of Postpartum Depression by Marie Osmond. I like it because it has a quiz in the back the take to see if a person is experiencing PPD and helpful natural remedies that Marie used which were given to her by her doctor. I have a signed copy and got to visit with Marie at her book signing in the Phoenix area. I was thrilled that she wrote the book because I'm sure it has been read more because of her celebrity status.

Frustrated Blogger

2008-07-27T21:47:00.000-07:00

Today I had such high aspirations of posting on both of my blogs. But my children kept interrupting me when I was trying to write and I just don't multi-task well. Now I'm going to go watch Dan in Real Life again. I love it! So much for blogging tonight! So look forward to a blog post on postpartum depression. Hold me to it. It is important.

I Am an Addict

2008-07-22T20:08:00.000-07:00

My name is Terry and I am an addict. My family has known for years that I have many addictive behaviors. I'm not going to list them because most of them are obvious to those around me. But finally recognizing this addition completely took me by surprise.

Brace yourselves.

I am a scale addict. That is right! For years I have been weighing myself almost daily. I did miss a few weeks here and there two years ago when we were moving. I actually lost weight because I was so busy that I forgot to eat(and had some anxiety). But when we got moved and somewhat settled, the weight started creeping back on. I went from being 5-10 lbs "too thin" according to my family to again being 15 lbs over weight in about 5 months. I was only weighing about once a week at first, but as the numbers on the scales climbed (in spite of any exercising or healthy eating on my part), my need to weigh everyday took over.

Only after talking to a couple truly healthy friends of mine, did one of them tell me that I was too focused on what I weighed and not focused enough on my overall health. She told me to not weigh myself for two months and focus on being healthy by good eating and exercising. I reacted to the advice quite strongly. My face told her that I couldn't even fathom it. She then said that I was addicted to weighing myself. She is right.

But I really don't want to go cold turkey because I'm counting calories and exercising everyday to lose 10 pounds by October 1st. So I committed to not weighing for a week. I started today. I didn't weigh. It was hard not too, but I didn't. I can see it getting harder each day. I'm going to have to use some EFT for this one!

So the focus is now on health. Mind, body, and spirit.

A side note, I bought a mountain bike today to save gas and get some exercise. I'm going to work up to riding it up to school. I rode a mile uphill without stopping today and 3 miles down. School is 2 miles uphill. It might kill me, but if it doesn't I'll be stronger!

Julie Allen is giving away an activity book on her blog!

2008-07-16T15:17:00.000-07:00

My friend Julie Allen has made very fun activity books for her children and is giving one away on her blog. Go enter her contest. I did!

Renewal!!

2008-07-16T14:41:00.000-07:00

I got an email today that said I was approved for academic renewal through Utah State University. For those of you who don't know, I made a mistake when I went to my first quarter of college at USU. I got sick for a couple of weeks right before finals, was totally overwhelmed, and didn't take my finals. That equaled 2 F's and a D on my college transcripts. Five years later, I returned to school, retook the two failed classes and got A's, but have always had that D from Geology on my transcript calculated into my otherwise perfect GPA.
Yesterday, I went and registered and applied for academic renewal. They approved it and award it today! Those bad grades are still on my transcripts, but they don't calculate in my GPA any longer! I have a 4.0 on as my overall GPA! It feels wonderful!!! Now I just have to keep my grades up for the next . . . ummm, 4 years until I graduate with my bachelor's. Piece of cake!

Two More Beautiful Girls

2008-07-14T11:14:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Girl

2008-07-14T11:10:00.000-07:00

Balance

2008-07-14T10:47:00.000-07:00

Striving for balance in life is such a challenge. I have a tendency to get so involved in things that I don't leave room for quiet time or enough sleep. More things than that suffer. I could list them, but it would be a long list.

I'm going back to Utah State this fall and taking 9 credits to finish my associates of science. I haven't taken 9 credits since before Tessa was born. I'm sure I'll be fine, but I want so badly to do it without negatively impacting my family. My children are much older, but their needs are different, too. Maybe we can have family homework time in the evenings.

I want to stay in shape and feed my family healthy meals. I know how important family prayer and scripture time is. But we have done that for years at 6:30 am, so it should still work.

It will be an experimental semester because then I'm thinking about going on to get a bachelor's in health education with at least an LPN in there. Only 4 more years of school full time! I'm not getting any younger!

My motto-enjoy the journey! I'm actually excited about it!

I'm Tagging Myself

2008-07-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

3 Joys
My family (that is way more than one and hopefully growing more soon!)
Close Friends
Learning

3 Fears
Going crazy (again)
Never graduating from college
Losing more of my hair

3 goals
Completing college
enjoying the journey
being more self-reliant

3 current obsessions/collections-
school
being healthy
reading

3 surprises about me-
My favorite bumper sticker says, "Question Authority"
I was born at home in England
I was ticketed for riding a mini bike when I was 12 and had to do community service

Summer Vacation

2008-07-06T10:59:00.000-07:00

We have had a full house this last week. Mindy and her family are here. Grandma Jo came for the week. We have done some great things. We went to Thanksgiving Point in Lehi, UT and walked the gardens. We went to the play "Chuck Wagon" at Pickleville Playhouse over by Bear Lake. We've gone hiking, fishing, and camping. I think we are going to go to Bear Lake and swim tomorrow. We have barbecued, and eaten well, way too well. Dan actually took the week off from work. It has been so nice. I love building memories with my family.
Tomorrow , April goes to Especially for Youth. This week I should finish up at work for the summer and get registered for college. Then summer will be half over . . .sad! This is my 3rd vacation so far. I'm hoping to still go to Jackson Hole or western Washington before it is all over. We are so blessed to live in such a wonderful, and beautiful country.

Far World Book Contest

2008-06-19T17:53:00.000-07:00

FREE ARC of Far World by J. Scott Savage.
All that is required to enter the contest is to:

#1 post a comment here with your blog address included and
#2 create a link from your blog to this post telling others about my contest.

There will be a random drawing of the comments for the book in the first week of August. The publisher will directly send the winner an Advanced Reader's Copy of the book. The winner must supply their regular mailing address to me to receive the book. (Must live in the USA or Canada to win.)

I just finished reading Far World by J. Scott Savage. It pulled me in and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I'm slated to write a review of it around the end of August.

Earthquake Quiz

2008-06-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Take this earthquake quiz. I saw it on Anne Bradshaw's "What to do in an earthquake" blog post. I got 90% on it, but only because I just attended an earthquake preparedness class put on by our stake. There was so much good information there. I'm still working on getting some of the things that were suggested. There were probably 15 handouts and so much to take in! Good luck, and let me know how you do.

Food Storage, 72 hr kits, and 5 Gallon Porta-pottys.

2008-06-06T21:46:00.000-07:00

Today Ryan sent me Glenn Beck's Get Prepared Part 3. It is as follows:

Get Prepared: Food Storage

Family Emergency Survival - Air, Water, and Food
by: Arthur B. Robinson, PhD

During emergencies - natural and man-made - one's family and friends may find themselves without ordinary essentials that make life possible. A human can survive only a few minutes without air, a few days without water, and a few weeks without food. Each of us has a fundamental moral responsibility to make certain that those people for whom we are responsible can get to the other side of an emergency alive, regardless of inconvenience or unhappiness that may occur during the event.

A safe air supply can be lost due to chemical, biological, or nuclear fallout contamination, or, of course, through simpler means such as flood waters over one's head. These threats are best met by public civil defense preparations - preparations that U.S federal and state politicians and bureaucrats have been unwilling to make. So, concerned private citizens must either buy costly air protection systems or arrange to live in locations that are less threatened. These preparations are beyond the scope of this article. Definitive and comprehensive civil defense information is available here.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA, performs exactly the function that its name indicates. FEMA "manages" emergencies. It does not prepare for emergencies. The last remaining civil defense functions - physical preparations for emergencies - of FEMA were defunded by the Clinton Administration. People deprived of safe air die within minutes. All that remains to be "managed" is their burial.

A safe supply of emergency water is relatively easy to provide. One method is to simply close the inlet and outlet valves of the home water heater in case of impending emergency. This will preserve many gallons of life-saving drinking water. Storage of additional water is also prudent. This can be done in one gallon milk containers, 50 gallon plastic drums, or most other containers of convenience. It is best to use multiple containers rather one container, the possible loss of which endangers the entire supply. As time passes, regardless of the water treatment method, stored water usually accumulates contaminants that one would ordinarily prefer to avoid, but which are acceptable during an emergency. Excellent purification systems are available from many sources, although emergency preparation funds are probably better spent in other ways.

Stored water must, however, be protected from poisonous biological contamination that can accumulate with time. The simplest way to provide this protection is by addition of chlorine compounds available as ordinary bleach. This must be done safely and correctly. These procedures are given in the book, Nuclear War Survival Skills, available on-line without cost here. This book also provides instructions for expedient water purification procedures.

A safe and sufficient supply of food is also easy to arrange, but provision of emergency food is often misunderstood.

First, most adults and children - with the exception of infants - can survive for several weeks without food. Survival food storage is required primarily for emergencies lasting for weeks, months, or even years.

Second, stored food should provide essential nutrition - not gourmet satisfaction. Storage of freeze-dried ordinary food, for example, caters to the illusion that a food-requiring emergency will be such a benign event that the participants will be very concerned about the tastiness of their food. Nothing could be further from the truth. Emergency food preparedness involves staying alive and in functional good health - not catering to one's pallet. Every food storage dollar should purchase the greatest quantity of nutritious food possible - not unneeded luxuries.

Third, a family food storage program should include as great an amount of nutritious, long-lasting food as the family can afford - not an amount estimated for the family's personal needs. The family friends and neighbors who have not stored food will need to be fed, too. Very, very few Americans would, in an emergency, eat stored food while allowing their neighbors and friends to die from starvation. Consequently, a family must realize that their food will likely last only so long as they can feed themselves and their friends and neighbors.

Fourth, stored food should last for 50 years or more in good condition.

During the 1980s at the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine, we developed food storage recommendations that consider these requirements. These recommendations were subsequently adopted and publicized by FEMA. Our food storage suggestions are as follows:

1. Store whole grain - not ground or otherwise processed - corn, wheat, and soybeans in a ratio by weight of 2:2:1. In other words, if one is storing 40 pound plastic, nitrogen-packed pails of grain, store 2 pails each of wheat and corn for each single pail of soybeans. Combined in these proportions, ground to flour, cooked (as in corn bread), and eaten, 2 to 3 pounds per day of this mixture will provide the nutrition required for a marine in combat - except for vitamin C and salt. An ordinary person surviving during an emergency would require perhaps half as much. Note: soybeans must be cooked before eating to avoid danger to health.

Nitrogen packing helps to assure that insects cannot infest the food. Containers should be long-lived and rodent resistant. There are several good commercial sources of food already appropriately packaged for storage - for example, Walton Feed in Idaho.

2. Store 1 kilogram of ascorbic acid (vitamin C) for each person-year of food. This is 3 grams per day. People under stress require extra vitamin C for optimum health. For prevention of death from scurvy, however, about 1% of this amount will suffice, so storage of vitamin C in these amounts might save the lives of an entire community.

Store crystalline vitamin C - not pills. During storage, the pills may deteriorate. In a cool, dry bottle, crystalline vitamin C will last indefinitely. Vitamin C can also be obtained by simply sprouting some of the food grain before eating. In a serious emergency, however, sprouting may prove difficult. Store also, in a cool place, a supply of ordinary multivitamin pills.

3. Store lots of salt. This could be crucial to saving many lives. An inexpensive and convenient form is in bags or salt blocks obtained from a local farm feed store.

4. For infants, store dried milk available from food storage suppliers in #10 cans. Infants can live on the grain ration, but they may refuse to eat less familiar food and will do better with milk.

5. Store several 4 gallon plastic buckets each containing 25 pounds of ordinary table sugar - sucrose; 1 pound baking soda; 5 x 11 ounce containers of Lite salt - KCl &NaCl; and a teaspoon for measuring. Dehydration from burns and diseases such as cholera can be treated with proper oral administration of these items. Instructions can be found in the March 1988, Volume 1, # 12, Fighting Chance newsletter. These buckets could save many lives during a serious prolonged emergency, where ordinary medical care is not available.

In ordinary times, soy bean, corn, and wheat flour can serve as a base for delicious and nutritious corn bread - when cooked with lots of baking soda, vegetable oil, and fruit for flavor.

Prior to the current U.S. government program to burn America's food for fuel, the rations above could be purchased and stored for about $100 per person per year of food. Prices now are between $200 and $300 per person year. If Americans continue to allow repressive government regulation and taxation of their nuclear and hydrocarbon energy industries and tax-subsidized use of food for fuel, these prices will rise much higher.

It is best to store food now, while it is still available at a reasonable price.

Art Robinson is a scientist and currently a professor at the Oregon Institute of Science and Medicine. The Federal Emergency Management Agency has commended and utilized Robinson work on emergency preparedness.

So we went to Walton's Feed and bought a three month supply of dried corn, soybeans, and salt for our two families, to go with the wheat my dad has canned. It isn't a lot, but it is a start. I use to have a good supply of food storage, but we left a lot in Mesa with Mindy and company. It is heartening to know that if stored properly some things can last over 30 years according to Walton's website. Yet after reading on their website, I'm betting that the wheat and things I left Mindy aren't good anymore because we kept them in our garage and the storage got too hot.

Ryan and Becky are going to use the food canned in #10 cans as a foundation for their bed so that they can store it. Yes, it is a bit like the family in the movie The RM, but it will be worth it.

I've been reading a novel called "Patriots , Surviving the Coming Collapse". It is more than a novel. The author tries to make it a guide in how to prepare for the next depression, collapse of government, anarchy, and chaos. It is a bit thick to wade through, but it is making me think. I know that I'm not as prepared as I should be as far as food storage and things go. I've spent several hundred dollars lately getting 72 hour kits ready and some earthquake preparedness items since the Utah "earthquake lady" came and spoke at our stake. I feel a little more ready, but I hope we are never going to need it.

One of the things we did was to move our water storage and 72 hour kits out of our basement and into our garage so that they are easily accessible. We purchased 2- 5 gallon bucket toilets with garbages bags and kitty litter. It is exciting, I know, but I still feel better. My sister said that she needs to store hundreds of pounds of kitty litter for her big family. I thought about giving one of these toilets as a bridal shower gift . . . it would have been memorable.

Like I said before, it is a start. Ryan called it our life insurance. Now we just have to get it canned after we go on our trip.

High School Graduation

2008-06-01T20:14:00.000-07:00

Tessa graduated from Mt. View High School in Mesa, AZ on May 22nd. It was memorable. It had been raining off and on all day and the higher powers were talking of separating the class into two groups to hold it indoors. The 803 graduates didn't want to be separated, so many sent texts to the head of the school board and said, "We are the class of 2008. We started together and we will end together. . ." It was held outside in the rain. We had a wool blanket and an umbrella, and it was still pretty miserable. I was happy that they let them graduate together. It would have been sad for them to not see 1/2 of their classmates and friends walk. Tessa thought it was neat. It was 52* when we drove away.
Tess was so sad to graduate. It meant that she had to come back to Utah and not be where her heart is, but many of her friends are already leaving, going in all the directions that kids go when they graduate.
I remember being so sad when I graduated 26 years ago. I loved high school, and all my friends. There were many that I have never seen again. There are a couple that I saw once and then learned of their deaths years later when I was hoping to see them at the next reunion. Life really does change so much after high school.
I really enjoy my high school reunions, or seeing old friends from that time of my life. Something about being with them makes me feel young and invincible again. I usually end up laughing and feeling carefree, and forgetting I'm an adult. I don't know if others have that same experience, but I look forward to it every 5 years. I hope it is the same until I'm 70+.

Singing in the Tabernacle

2008-04-27T08:35:00.000-07:00

As some of you may have read already, April and I sang in the Salt Lake City Tabernacle with composer and conductor, Rob Gardner in his work of Joseph Smith the Prophet this weekend. It was a wonderful experience. We sang for the prophet on Friday night and got a standing ovation.
Another fun part of the experience was singing all the professional singers (which we are not, but April has high aspirations to be). Jordan Bluth was one of the soloists. I love his cd! April laughed at me because I couldn't wait to meet him. She rolled her eyes and told me that I was silly. I made her come with me as moral support and introduced her and myself. He shook both of our hands, as I told him that I had to meet him because he was my new favorite tenor, even over Josh Groban. He said, "wow," and then put his hand on my shoulder, smiling as he left, having to run because Rob called for all the soloists to meet with him right then. April clearly was reveling in what she thought should be my great embarrassment. I wasn't embarrassed. I joked that I would never wash my right hand or shoulder again. He is rather dashing, and what a voice!

Rob Gardner is such a gifted man, too. He is truly a genius. This is the third time in five years that I have performed with him in the Spire Chorus. It is wonderful that it is a volunteer choir, because I may have been too chicken to audition if it had been otherwise. But most of the volunteers are incredibly talented singers.

April and Terry with Rob

I Lost 4 Pounds in Two Weeks

2008-04-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

I am so excited. I got on the scales and was down another 2 pounds. I have struggled at this weight for the last year. At one point, I lost six pounds (last October) after counting calories for three weeks and kept if off until January when I put 8 back on even though I was exercising very regularly. So I had almost resigned myself that I was going to stay at this weight. I joked that if I had lived during the Renaissance my beautiful body would be preserved in the art of the time. I would be included in Michael Angelo's murals.
But after everything I've been doing since my 44th birthday, I've lost 4 pounds! I don't have the cravings for the carbs! It is terrific! I just had to share. I only want to lose 11 more to be at my pre-Katrina weight. Sweet!

Emotional Freedom Technique

2008-04-23T13:07:00.000-07:00

EFT is a relatively new therapy that involves tapping on acupuncture sights for emotional issues of all kinds. When I was searching for something to help my hormone problems I linked to it through the Women to Women website. Since finding out about it, I had two sessions with Dr. Arden Compton at Abundant Health in Brigham City. I was quite skeptical at first, but I've found many testimonials from people that have had great success with it. I even found that the Discovery Channel did a show on using EFT for weight-loss. Well known Dr. Andrew Weil of University of Arizona uses a similar method for food cravings.

Because I spilled my guts in my last post about my depression this spring, I want everyone to know I feel incredibly better than I did one month ago. I don't know if it is the EFT, the better diet, the more consistent exercise, the new vitamins that I'm on, the fact that it is spring and there is more sunlight, or all of the above. Monday morning I found myself looking forward to work, to singing in Joseph Smith the Prophet, and to starting school in the fall. I was thinking about all the possibilities for my future and felt so excited about life! I stopped, amazed. I realized that I hadn't felt that positive about things in a balanced and whole way for two and a half years, since my personal Katrina (which happened the very same week).

I have tapped through a few of my issues since Saturday. It has been surprising where the sessions have led. I didn't realize that I have felt so inferior to a particular person in my life. I know that this person doesn't feel that I am inferior to them, but that it is my own issue. It is very interesting, to say the least. I am still skeptical, but not as much as I was because of the way I feel. I feel lighter, more capable than I have in so long. I don't know quite what to think. Even if it is placebo, I don't care because I feel better this week. And it is the week, if you know what I mean.

Depression and Swine Hormones

2008-04-20T08:56:00.000-07:00

The last few months I've been experiencing some hormonal and seasonal related depression. I usually have kept this at bay with consistent exercise, good vitamins and amino acids, and learning something that I'm excited about.

I was doing well until the first of February when I cut the fleshy tip of my thumb off and started working again. That was the week. I dragged myself to our sales training for three days. I didn't want to be there! I wanted to be at the gym, dancing. I wanted to be at school finishing my open-enrollment computer class, and enrolled in school for fall. I wanted to be anywhere, but there. My thumb was hurting so I couldn't exercise even if I wanted to. I had to be at the sales training. I had committed to working another season. It is a great job, and I know it, so I felt guilty. My boss, (my sister) knew that I was thinking about more schooling and told me that I wasn't obligated to work for her. But I had committed, not only to her and my sales manager, but to my husband and myself. And it kept snowing and snowing and snowing. It all seemed to go downhill from there.

I took my computer test on Microsoft Word as soon as sales training was over, and set school aside until June when our sales campaign is over. But it seemed I had a mental block. The phone at work weighed a hundred pounds. I was having anxiety and guilt. But I started. Slowly. I called my best clients, and had some success. I remembered that I really like the people with whom I work. I was feeling somewhat better, but still dragging. My negative thoughts were getting the best of me. My heart wasn't in it. It felt as if I were carrying 100 lbs to work each day. I spent hours reorganizing my contracts, and checking my email (OK, it wasn't really hours). It kept ringing in my head, "don't want to be here, not a career, can't do it, heart's not in it, have to do it, have to do it, I'm committed, I'm not a flake," and so it went for a couple of weeks.

My emotions were right on the surface. I cried at work, about work. (I can honestly say that that is a first!) I had a confrontation with my sales manager (who is not my sister) about the fact that he didn't give me any of the good sales leads.

Description of said confrontation:
Me, smiling, and arrogant, as I handed him a renewed contract, "My last client just increased his ad by $2000!"
"That is great, kid!" looking at my contract.
"Do you know how I got that client last year?" I said, proudly. "I got it from the white lead sheets, which I didn't get any of this year."
"How would you know that?" he said, surprised, and puzzled.
"I saw that the others had them and I didn't. When did you hand them out? Were you thinking that I didn't deserve any because I am only part-time and in school, too?"
He paused, thinking, "I honestly don't remember, but it could have been something like that. I did it at the beginning of the campaign. Did you lose sleep over it?"
"No, I just was wondering how you expect me to increase my sales without any good leads." It was matter of fact. I didn't feel emotional. I felt better. It was out in the open. I was part-time. It isn't my career of choice. I really didn't want more work, more hours. The weight had lifted. (I know what you are thinking, big, scary confrontation, NOT!)
I remembered, I like my job. I'm good at it! I am an asset to my sister's company, if only for one more season, or if I decide to stay for many. I can pick away at my other dream education in the summer and fall, and enjoy the journey. The guilt is gone! I am committed for this season, and it is good.

Work has been so much better. Life has been better . . . except when those swine horrormones change. I have violent, scary nightmares for a couple nights around day 14, and feel withdrawn, sluggish, and worthless days 20-25, and then achy for days 1-3. In March on day 14 I was crying, feeling hopeless, and in the depths of despair and everything was GOOD! Logically, I knew it was good. I could spend days, even weeks counting my blessings. I was exercising some, but not enough and it was still cold, overcast and snowing. I knew I had to do something! In a 24 day cycle I had 11 days that I felt off! That is almost half of month feeling yucky!

I googled PMS and found Dr. Northrup's women to women website. I ordered her wellness program for my birthday. I started exercising 4 days a week. I have started a better diet, lower in refined carbs. I started taking the prescription of Prometrium (bio-identical progesterone) that my doctor prescribed in November that I had only tried for 2 months. I linked over to a website on Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) that Dr. Northrup's site said can help with health issues. I called Arden Compton, ND and set up an appointment. (more on this later)

My last cycle was much better. I'm excited about life again.

Free Book, Check Here

2008-04-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

I was linking through the wonderful world of blogs and found out that J. Scott Savage will give away an advanced reader's copy of his new book Farworld if a blogger will be on his book blog tour, review his book after reading it and have a Q and A with him for a post. The only thing is . . . I have to have an active blog to do it. First, I need to post more often, and then it may be active. But, I can't even get my kids to read my blog! Hmmm. It is a problem.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

2008-03-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

I got this email today, and it made me laugh! I thought I'd post it after adding some of our Funny Family Folktale Kid Funnies.

TESSA (age 3) was sitting by the bishop's wife in sacrament meeting. She looked up at her and said, "You must be really old."
The bishop's wife smiled and replied, "Oh, I am really old."
Then Tessa looked at her and asked, "then why aren't cha dead?"

ROSS (age 5) "Mom, you need to buy a new bed."
"Why do we need a new bed?"
"For the baby," he said.
"Oh, honey, your Dad and I aren't going to have any more babies," I replied.
My husband piped in, "When you get married, you can have all the babies you want."
Ross could hardly contain his joy and said, "When I marry Hunter (little girl that he played with), I'll just cough it [the baby] out!" Cough was the word he used for vomit. Dan almost crashed the car, and I about peed my pants.

RYAN (age 11) After we had driven up Arizona's dirt "Hell Road" into the Superstition Mountains for 20 miles of narrow switch-backs, white-knuckle blind turns, and thousand foot drop-offs, we finally reached Roosevelt Dam. Ryan asked what the piece of equipment on the top of the dam was. Dan said, "it is a crane." Ryan replied, "I've seen a lot of cranes in my life, but I've never seen a dam crane!" It was just the comic relief that we needed. It was a good thing that the road had straightened out.

ROSS (age 7) While living in Mesa, Arizona, we would go to my brother, Jamey's house and the kids would jump on his trampoline. In the 110* weather, the sun had deteriorated the trampoline mat and whenever the kids would jump they would be covered in black. One day I said to Ross, "There is black all over you. I see you've been jumping on the trampoline again. " He said, "the bad guys snuck into the backyard at night and painted the trampoline black!"

Now the email

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly,
rather-wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a
while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

SUSAN (age 4) was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't
give me this juice again," she said. "It makes my teeth cough."

JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister.
After a while, he asked: "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and
one for cold milk?"

MELANIE (age 5) asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied
she was so old she didn't remember any more. Melanie said, "If you don't
remember, you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."

STEVEN (age 3) hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much
that, when you die, I'm going to bury you outside my bedroom window."

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in
vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom
explained it was a child-proof cap, and she'd have to open it for her.
Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked, "How does it know it's me?"

DJ (age 4) stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked, "How much do I cost?"

MARC (age 4) was engrossed in a young couple that was hugging and kissing
in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad, "Why is he
whispering in her mouth?"

CLINTON (age 5) was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom asked
what was troubling him, he replied, "I don't know what'll happen with
this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in?"

JAMES (age 4) was listening to a Bible story. His dad read, "The man
named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city, but his
wife looked back and was turned to salt." Concerned, James asked, "What
happened to the flea?"

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget ... This particular Sunday
sermon ... "Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward
heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you,we are
but dust ..." He would have continued but, at that moment, my very
obedient daughter, who was listening, leaned over to me and asked
quite audibly in her shrill, little, four-year-old-girl voice, "Mom, what
is butt dust?"

Shadow, Paris, and the Elephants

2008-03-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Tale II in Funny Family Folktales. This is Grandma's story.

One summer our little black Pekingese, Shadow, had tangled with a skunk. No matter what I washed her with, I couldn't get the stench out. Because it was summer and the weather was nice, I just had to keep her outside.

One evening, I was watching my grandson, Paris, who was around five years old. He was very concerned about Shadow being outside and kept asking me if he could let her in. I told him no several times.

He said, "But Grandma, she is shaking. She is cold."

Sure enough, Shadow was shaking, but I knew she wasn't cold. "No, she isn't cold. She just wants in. It is warm outside," I said.

"But, Grandma, she is scared. That is why she is shaking."

"Paris, Shadow isn't scared."

"She is scared," he continued. "We need to let her in."

I, again, told him that there was nothing for Shadow to be afraid of and that she couldn't come in because she smelled too bad, but he wouldn't give up.

"Grandma, Shadow is scared of the elephants."

"What elephants? There aren't any elephants!"

"Oh, they are out there!" He said, "you just can't see them."

LDStorymakers, Bitten by the Bug

2008-03-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

I had wanted to go to the LDStorymaker's Writers' Conference and when I went to register a couple of weeks ago, it was sold out! Then this morning I received a comment on this blog from Candace Salima and linked over to her blog. Hurray! She had a post saying that there were a couple of unexpected openings in the conference for anyone interested. Mindy and I got the last two seats!

For those of you who don't know, I've always wanted to write. First, when I was in third grade, I started writing romances. I wish I had kept them. My mother would roar with laughter when she read them. She never has been very supportive of my big dreams. Then in junior high school when my 8th grade English teacher assigned the class two page stories to write, much to her chagrin, I would turn in twenty page stories. She had me spend the time reading the book Dune to study his writing style. Looking back, I just think she didn't want to read or grade my long stories. Yet, at the end of the school year she told me to send her my first published work. (I don't think this blog counts...)
So onto Logan High School I went. I continued to love English, literature, and creative writing. Therefore, I took a journalism class my junior year. I thoroughly was taken with it, and much to my surprise the Grizzly Newspaper Adviser told me to apply to be on the staff.
I remember the conversation well. "Terry, I think you should sign up to be on the newspaper next year."
"Really?" I was flattered. "What position should I try for?"
"How about for the editor-in-chief?" he said.
I couldn't believe that he would suggest that. When they announced that I was the next year's editor-in chief, I couldn't believe it. I was so happy. It thrilled me to be a part of a team, and to write. I guess that counted as something that I could have sent to my 8th grade English teacher, but it never occurred to me until this very moment.
So fast forward 30 years, give or take a couple. I, yet again, have the urge to write. Finally, now that I have a little life experience, I may have something to share. I just need to do it. I've started with my blogs, found real writers and their blogs, and have been bitten by the bug.

Mindy went to the American Night Writer's Conference in Mesa two weeks ago, and loved it. She said that I should go to this one if I could. I didn't even think about the fact that she would be here to go with me.

So a small prayer has been answered. There are two openings with our names on them. I just hope now that the brain storms from the past will return and I'll be able to articulate them onto paper. What fun!

Make a Caption

2008-03-17T08:25:00.000-07:00

These are my beautiful children! Don't you think they are somethin'?

OK, I want your captions for this picture. What do you think the mugger is saying?

5 Cent Ice Cream Cones

2008-02-26T16:03:00.000-08:00

This is the first of our Funny Family Folktales. This is Grandpa's story.

One summer in 1946, when I was 17, I ran an ice cream counter in the drug store on Main Street and First North in Logan, Utah. One warm summer day, a little girl that looked to be about 5 years old came in the store. Before she came in, I saw her talking to her mother for a minute, apparently receiving some kind of directions.

The little girl came to my counter and ordered a couple of ice cream cones and handed me a dollar bill. After her order, she said, "I want some change."

"What kind of change do you want?" I teased, thinking that the question might stump her.

To my surprise, she rolled her eyes while glancing out the front window toward her mother, and said, "Well, " with her hands on her hips, "if you're stupid, you're not suppose to work here!"

A Kitchen Knife and My Thumb...

2008-02-22T23:34:00.000-08:00

Sequel to "A Kitchen Knife and my Finger" by Mindy Ostler on MNOP.

I'll have you know that I had lived 43.75 years without cutting myself deeply when chopping food. Something about using very sharp knives and looking away for just that one second...and off comes the top of my thumb! Luckily for me, I had asked my nurse friend what Mindy should have done differently when she cut off her fingertip.

Funny thing going into shock over only a "flesh wound". After I announced that "I just pulled a Mindy" and cut my thumb off, I calmly went into the bathroom while giving orders to the family about how to finish dinner, grabbed some gauze, taped up a pressure bandage, joked a bit about how I couldn't believe that I had done the very same thing that Mindy did only two weeks before, then promptly had to put my head between my knees to make sure I didn't pass out onto the tile. I, too, had ringing in my ears, and was suddenly nauseated.

After realizing that I was in shock, I lay down, and propped my feet up. Then I thought I should probably have a professional make sure that I had bandaged it properly. I called my friend, Amy over who said, "Did you wash it out well?"
Nope, I didn't. So she washed it for me, made it bleed thoroughly to clean it out, and re-bandaged it. By then, I wasn't in shock anymore, so I visited with her and then ate my dinner.

That was two weeks ago. It still hasn't healed. I thought that the flap of skin was attached in one small spot, but I was mistaken. It was all the way off, but I put so much pressure on it that it adhered to the wound. I have tried to take pictures of it to put on my blog, but my new camera really doesn't take good pictures.
Oh, well. It is only the size of a thumbtack. I'm sure it will fall off and heal sometime before I'm 60, if I'll quit bumping it and making it bleed more. Maybe I should go have it cauterized...NOT!

Lost in Blogland II

2008-02-22T22:46:00.000-08:00

Today I had Ross clean the house for me. He owes me some money, so I had him dust and vacuum everything. While he was doing that, I read, and read, and read.
I have a confession to make, the last couple of weeks I've been reading a questioning blog. I know, you are all shocked and horrified, but one of my favorite writers on there is Bruce Nielson, who according to his own comments is an "Orthodox Mormon". He is articulate, thoughtful, and respectful of other's differing views. I have really appreciated his insight and answers to the "let's read The Book of Mormon as an inspired, fictitious, 19th century document" group.
There are others on the blog in question that comment who are believing members of the church. There are links to other blogs and websites that are inspired, 21st century work. I have been linking over to those blogs, and drifting away from the first one. It has made me a happier reader.
Tonight I have read some wonderful, thoughtful literature on Segullah. It made me want to write. I mean really write. Express my thoughts, my stories, in a way that touches people like those stories touched me. They were poignant, honest, heart-wrenching, hopeful and true.
But I am afraid. How do I do it and keep the private things private? There are those stories that are true, but need to be told in a way to protect the individuals in them. Do I tell them in fiction? Do I write under a fake name where strangers can read them, but not those who may recognize the players?
I should ask the authors how they do it. I think I shall. Being lost in Blogland today was a wonderful journey into other's experiences and I came away inspired.

Snow, Snow, and more...

2008-02-20T19:34:00.000-08:00

This is a picture of our patio. It has looked like this since Christmas Eve. It has really been beautiful though.

The Cutting Edge

2008-02-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

I saw this today at school. I sent it to my manager at work. I think he is feeling a bit like these three guys on the cutting edge. He has been working on our online Bridgerland Phonebook since September. It should be working any day now!

Personality Test

2008-01-23T10:21:00.001-08:00

Your Aura is Violet

Idealistic and thoughtful, you have the mind and ideas to change the world.
And you have the charisma of a great leader, even if you don't always use it!

The purpose of your life: saying truths that other people dare not say

Famous purples include: Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., Susan B. Anthony

Careers for you to try: Political Activist, Inventor, Life Coach

What Color Is Your Aura?

The Verb "to text"

2008-01-20T22:28:00.000-08:00

For some reason when people use the verb to text in the past tense as "texted" it really rubs me like fingernails on a chalkboard. So I told the family I was going to find the correct usage figuring that it should be said "tex'd" as in one syllable. Well, I guess we are all correct..., but I still prefer the single syllable pronunciation to the double syllable one.

According to the online version of the Oxford English Dictionary
(available through some libraries), there has been a verb "text" since
the 1500s, with a past tense of "texted" or "tex'd."  The current
meaning of "to send a text message" was accepted by the OED in its
draft additions of June 2004, and include the example of "texted."

Here is the link and referrence I found. http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=567531

Watch this video and help raise money for Autism.

2008-01-20T22:25:00.000-08:00

The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.40 to Autism Speaks for each time this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your friends and family. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal

http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

Oh, Deer!

2008-01-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

These deer have been feeding in the field by our house for the last two weeks. One Sunday we counted about 30 in the herd. This picture is taken from April's bedroom window. They are only 35 feet away.
This picture is taken from the front window.

Dan opened the front door and they started away.

Before and After...only 2 months older

2008-01-17T20:50:00.000-08:00

This is our puppy, Grizzly. He was named that because he has the paws of a bear for such a little guy. This picture was taken right around Thanksgiving, when we first brought him home.

Now look at him! I don't know what he has been eating, but we have almost been able to watch him grow!

Got a new haircut, feel like the old me

2008-01-17T17:11:00.001-08:00

I found the perfect degree for me!

2008-01-16T16:53:00.000-08:00

Public Health Education
I'm really excited to look into it further. Only 2 more math classes, 3 more chemistry...and 15 others...

Back to School

2008-01-11T14:30:00.000-08:00

I did it! I signed up for the computer class that I had been procrastinating for the last 2 years. In the first week I have found 3 errors in the teacher's key, been told that students like me are a pain in the butt, and helped 2 other students. I love school!! I just have to study for my first test on Monday and see if my brain will work again. I sure hope it will!
I found out that my nursing prerequisites aren't too old to apply for the LPN program here. I'm not planning on applying for a while, but I need to finish 2 classes before I can. I just want to finish them so that the option is open if I need to, or choose to later.
I am also working out at the gym with my friend, Pam. I've been taking piano lessons from Becky and I need to start practicing again. I have a lot to fit in especially with work starting for me again in the middle of February. Being busy is a happy thing for me, but keeping things in balance is a trick sometimes.

Christmas Letter

2008-01-11T13:47:00.000-08:00

This year has been a busy one. For those of you who don’t know, we moved from Mesa in August of 06. Our big move last year ended with us moving into a new home with an unfinished basement. We quickly realized that there wasn’t quite enough room for 4 kids, 2 dogs, and Terry and me in 3 bedrooms and 2 baths, so we finished the basement between Christmas and Spring-break.

Terry has kept very busy this year between managing the basement project, keeping the rest of the house (and family) in order, and working for the Bridgerland Phonebook. She has also started writing again. You can see her labors at http://terryall5.blogspot.com/ .

Dan still loves his job as a Product Engineer at Inovar, Inc. and being back in Cache Valley. He didn’t get out into the mountains as much as he would have liked, but still thinks they are really nice to look at. He also loves the four seasons.

Ryan had a busy year, also: between school, working construction, and keeping a long distance relationship going. Then it was apartment hunting and planning a wedding in a month which took place in August. He and his new bride, Becky, are doing very well.

Mindy, Nathan, and Emma are still in Mesa, but we have been fortunate enough to see them close to every other month this past year. They are great!

Tessa made it onto the cast of the Logan High presentation of “Damn Yankees” this year, and really enjoyed it. She got the cast award for the cheesiest grin! Currently she is singing with Logan High’s top choir, Crimson Colony. She is moving back to Mesa in a week to finish High School with her beloved Mesa people.

April decided to tryout for the Sky View Color Guard this year. She gave up her Saturdays, and spent many long hours practicing all summer for the program. She enjoyed marching with a great band. She now loves singing in the Cache Children’s Choir. She is in high school and will be getting her driving permit this spring. We can’t believe it!

Ross is having a blast with all of his new friends in the neighborhood. We have 6 boys his age surrounding us within a couple of houses in every direction, a big change from Mesa! He loves school, and soccer.

We hope this letter finds you well this Christmas season. We are thankful to call you our loved ones.

Blogfest

2007-12-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting next to April, again reading in Blogland while she asks me how to start a blog. I explain it to her. She is off and writing! While I read ANWA's Blog, Anne Bradshaw's Blog, Martha's other blogs, Jessica's blog...April posts two...yes, two stories to her new blog.

Yes, the competition is fierce! I have my list of potential blog posts sitting on our computer desk while she steals one of my best stories right out of my head! All I can say is there is the quick and the unpublished.

Anne Bradshaw's Christmas Give Away

2007-12-03T11:33:00.000-08:00

CHRISTMAS GIVE AWAY! Win a Compact DVD Player

Anyone want to win a brand new, still-in-box, RjTECH UNO-02DVD compact slim DVD player? And since it's the Christmas season when it's nice to give more, SHIPPING by Priority Mail is FREE in Continental USA.

Closing date--DECEMBER 18th 2007.

Full DVD function
DVD format compatibility: DVD/DVD-R/DVD-RW/VCD/SVCD/CD/CD-R/CD-RW/JPEG
Audio Outputs: 2.1 CH RCA/Coaxial
Video Outputs: Video/S-Video/YCbCr
Multi-TV System NTSC/PAL
Dimensions: 10 x 9 x 1.5 inches ; 4 pounds

Two simple rules:

1) Post information about the contest on your blog with a link back to mine.

2) Leave ONE comment at http://annebradshaw.blogspot.com/2007/11/christmas-give-away-win-compact-dvd.html#links telling Anne you've completed #1.

Winner will be chosen by random number generator on Tuesday December 18th, and announced the same day.

Spread the word about this nifty give-away.

And a Merry Christmas to one and all!

Lost in Blogland

2007-12-02T21:30:00.001-08:00

The last 2 weeks I've had the best of intentions of updating my blogs, but to no avail. First, every time I get on to do it, I get lost in blogland. It has been a real distraction. Not that I think anyone is even reading my blogs. I don't blame you if you're not because I haven't put anything new on them. I don't know how the people who blog regularly do it! They probably don't get lost in blogland!
But, having said that, tonight, I found a couple of really neat blogs. One is anwafounder.blogspot.com, which is American Night Writer's Association. I'm so excited. It is a group of LDS women writers who support each other in their writing aspirations. Some are published, some are beginners. The founder is from Mesa. They have meetings, a newsletter, and social groups to help. The reason I found them was because I was wondering if anyone could google my name and tender mercies to find my blog. On the third page of the search results was a link to ANWA with a tender mercy story anwafounder.blogspot.com/2007/02/brother-cheevers-valentine.html . I liked the story and the link. But better than that, I am going to join ANWA and see if I can work on some of my stories I have floating around in my head.
The second link I really enjoyed was that of Anne Bradshaw's Not Entirely British blog. She has some great stuff on her blog. My favorite was the Mom Song from Youtube. It is great. I do need to memorize this because then I can sing it to my children first thing in the morning and not have to speak to them the rest of the day.

Someone is missing...

2007-11-08T23:34:00.000-08:00

We need new family pictures! Our picture is from last spring and is missing Becky, Ryan's wife. I still don't have wedding pictures from them yet. But I should soon! Here are their engagement pictures.

2007-11-05T23:04:00.000-08:00

April just last week. She is getting so old! Wow!

2007-11-05T21:48:00.000-08:00

These are pictures of April marching in her first parade last spring.
April just got back from Flagstaff, Az where she was in a marching band competition with the SkyView Marching Band at Bands of America.
SkyView placed 10th in the competition for the Western Regional Division, which is really good.

My Grandbaby, Emma

2007-11-05T21:20:00.000-08:00

Tessa and Terry

2007-10-28T13:18:00.000-07:00

English 101 x 2

2007-10-23T21:29:00.000-07:00

I actually learned how to blog in my English 101 class that I took the summer of 2005. That was a great class. I deleted an old blog from there, but had to transfer 3 of the papers I wrote onto this new blog. I just couldn't quite give them up. I worked hard on them. I hope it's OK.

Today I had my first piano lesson in 10 years. I'm taking from my incredibly beautiful and talented daughter-in-law, Becky. She is teaching April, Ross, and me. Ryan, my oldest son, told me that now I have to set a good example by practicing. I will try. I do enjoy playing and having an excuse to do so.

I watched a movie called The Painted Veil today, too. It was thought provoking. I would recommend it.

I had a great evening. For young women's tonight we had dinner and a meeting. The meeting was...a meeting, but afterwards a few of us stood around talking. It was good. I learned that I wasn't the only one in the group who had had Postpartum Depression after my babies. I enjoyed just visiting. I feel like I am finally getting to know a few of the women in the ward a little better. Last week we had a Stake Relief Society service project. We quilted 125+ quilts in a day for different charitable organizations in the valley. I quilted from 11am-5pm. I probably talked too much, as usual. I did get some quilting done, so it wasn't only idle chatter. Plus, I actually learned things about some of the amazing women in my ward. I keep thinking that I'll actually make some friends soon. I've only been here a year. There is hope.

Dear Editor

2007-10-23T21:26:00.000-07:00

Monday, July 25, 2005

Dear Editor,

Joseph Hilbe in his commentary on July 19th claimed the Founding Fathers “made [the] nation non-religious.” Even though Hilbe had some points that were accurate, the premise that the “Founders made [the] nation non-religious” is erroneous and misleading. On the contrary, the Founding Fathers made the national government a civil, earthly one with no intentions of having the nation or people “non-religious”. One can see by looking at their words and actions that they hoped for the very opposite. Their desire was to write the Constitution so that it would guard the people from a government mandated religion like the Church of England at the beginning and for the future.

While the Founders weren’t perfect and did not foresee and solve all the problems for our nation, they did strive to protect all religious expression and people in our new nation by setting up a government that would defend the rights of people of all faiths. They never intended the government to be nonreligious or secular. Kevin Hasson, from the Brecket Fund for Religious Liberty explained in his book The Right to Be Wrong, that the word temporal is better than secular. The Founders arranged for a temporal government dealing with issues in this realm not the hereafter (Hasson). While many of the Founders were Christians, they didn’t agree on which sect or belief was best, and because of their experience with England, they were wise enough to protect those with whom they disagreed. The framers of the Constitution wrote The First Amendment which says that, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof” to do just that. “Congress” in that amendment was referring to the federal government, and not the state governments. States were left to make their own laws concerning the establishment of state run religions if they so desired. New England had an arrangement that most Americans today would now consider an establishment of religion by the state (Feldman).

Looking at the following examples, one can see that these two founders hoped and planned for America to be religious. Signer of the Declaration of Independence, John Jay said, “A proper history of the United States would have much to recommend it: in some respects it would be unlike all others; it would develop the great plan of Providence, for causing this extensive part of our world to be discovered and these ‘uttermost parts of the earth’ to be gradually filled with civilized and Christian people and nations.” John Jay hoped for a Christian nation. Also, Founder Patrick Henry affirmed that “this great nation was founded, not by religionists” and “not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ. For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded asylum, prosperity, and freedom of worship here.”

And so it began, and as people from all over the world saw the principles of freedom on which America was based, they began to come to the New World. Even if the Founders had a notion of what they had started, they probably had no idea the direction this new freedom would take the nation. They could not anticipate the huge immigration of Catholics, Jews, and Muslims, to name only a few. They didn’t imagine government run public schools that would have to deal with objections, first from Catholics to Protestant ideas being taught, then from atheists and agnostics to prayers and bibles in the classroom. But according to Noah Feldman in his book, Divided by God, Americans did and still do feel strongly that governments should not coerce people in religious matters and affairs of individual conscience. The reason Americans have fought through the decades over religious freedom and expression is because of their strong belief in the “principle of the liberty of conscience” spoken about by John Locke. The Founding Fathers leaned heavily on the ideas of John Locke, who inspired their work more than any other philosopher (Feldman).

Thereafter, the course through American history over the church/state issue has been anything but clean and straight. E. J. Dionne Jr., in his book review of Divided by God, in the Washington Post, said that Americans “...have seen a good deal of incoherence and inconsistency, a fair bit of hypocrisy and a huge amount of contention. We have muddled through in a way that has allowed Americans to believe and worship God as they choose to – and reject faith altogether if they are so inclined” (Dionne). The "great experiment" that our Founding Fathers started has afforded Americans throughout the generations the right to be free, because of the Founder's and Framer's incredible wisdom, bravery, and foresight. Our national government was set up to protect all people from government-mandated religion like the Church of England, to worship whatsoever way or thing they chose. For that I will be eternally grateful.

Terry Allen

Works Cited

Declaration of Independence

Dionne Jr., E. J. “American Spirit.” Book World. The Washington Post 10 July 2005: T7.

Feldman, Noah. (2005). Divided by God. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States

The Junto Society, Founder of the Month, John Jay, Dec. 2002. 22 July 25, 2005

The Junto Society, Founder of the Month, Patrick Henry, May 2003. 22 July 25, 2005

Hasson, Kevin Seamus.(2005).The Right to Be Wrong.

Raspberry, William. “Our Religious Culture.” Editorial. The Washington Post 11
July 2005 pp. A15.

The Battle Rages On

2007-10-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Thursday, July 28, 2005

I’m a 41 year old mother of five, a student, and a church-going, praying Christian. I voted for President George W. Bush and am presently overwhelmed by the ongoing war. The one I’m talking about is the war over church and state in America. It is raging between the people, in our classrooms, and even among the judges of the Supreme Court. Last month the Supreme Court handed out two ambiguous rulings about displaying the Ten Commandments on government property. The vote was 5-4 on both. The court ruled that it was unconstitutional to display the Ten Commandments in a Kentucky courthouse, but constitutional to display them on the state capital grounds in Texas. According to Washington Post writer E. J. Dionne Jr. , in his article, American Spirit, the court explained that posting them in Kentucky was “‘to emphasize and celebrate the religious message’ of the commandments” and those in Texas were there for “historical” purposes. And this from a court that starts each session with: “God save the United States and this honorable court” (Dionne).
Is posting the Ten Commandments in a government forum unconstitutional? The Supreme Court can’t even decide. The Founding Fathers wouldn’t have thought so. Anyone looking at their words and actions could see that. The First Amendment was not written with the purpose of keeping religious ideas out of government forums, but was set up to protect the right of religious expression for people of all beliefs. This right, originally protected by the Founding Fathers, is often being destroyed by misapplication of the law, when at other times the right is upheld. The inconsistent and confusing rulings of the court is muddying the waters and worsening the war. Our courts need to truly look to the Founders and the framers of the Constitution for a peaceful solution.
The Founding Fathers started this war by giving us the right to fight it. According to Noah Feldman in his book, Divided by God, the framers of the Constitution strongly believed that governments should not coerce people in religious matters and affairs of individual conscience (Feldman). Because of their experience with the Church of England, they felt it was imperative to add the First Amendment to the Constitution which says that, “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.” Their purpose in adding this was to protect religious expression for all people, especially for those of differing beliefs. Even the Founders had varying views about religion. For example, according to his own writings, Thomas Jefferson was a Deist when most of his associates were fervent Christians (Feldman). This law was not intended to protect the government from the influence of religion, but the people from coercion by the government.
Through the years the First Amendment has been interpreted, and reinterpreted by the people and the courts depending on their political situations and motivations. Consequently, the right of religious expression has been injured by the law being misapplied. When our nation started the “common” schools in urban areas in the 1820’s, the concern over religion and religious teaching was immediate, but the leaders in the government didn’t even consider leaving religious teachings out of the classroom (Feldman). These teachings were never thought of as harmful, or unconstitutional, but they were thought of as vital. But the teachings were Protestant doctrines. Then there was a massive influx of Catholics from Europe and the first bomb hit. The Catholics did not want to pay taxes that supported public schools that taught religious doctrines that conflicted with their own (Feldman). They wanted their tax dollars to support their own Catholic schools. When the case went to the courts, the Catholics lost their right of religious expression in the schools. The Constitution should have equally protected their right to education, but it did not. Taxing the Catholics to support other’s religious education was deemed constitutional.
Then the Mormon question arose. After mobs murdered many Mormons and drove them out of several states in the mid-1800s, they fled to the Utah Territory for religious freedom. The states that “legally” drove them out did so because of state anti-bigamy laws. After the Mormons reached Utah and set up a territorial government, Republicans, in 1860, passed a federal law banning polygamy in the Utah Territory. Their quarrel was that because of the dominance of the Mormon Church in Utah, there were church/state issues in the territorial government. The Mormons appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court to argue that “Congress lacked the power to interfere with the purely local government of the territory. But the Supreme Court reframed the issue to ask whether Mormons’ religious belief in polygamy meant that the law in question violated their free exercise of religion under the First Amendment” (Feldman). The justices looked back at similar cases in the late 1700s and the court unanimously determined that creating a federal law about marriage (because marriage was a religious institution) was unconstitutional (Feldman). If only our current court would follow those predecessor’s example. Feldman said, “Never before had the Supreme Court so much as considered a claim that Congress had passed a law prohibiting free exercise. Since 1791, Congress had steered clear of any law that might have given rise to such an objection, and it would be another seventy years before the Supreme Court came to believe that the First Amendment applied to the states, not only Congress.” The original intent of the First Amendment was upheld, and the Mormons won, for a time. . It wasn’t until the 1870’s that the now famous and incredibly influential phrase by Thomas Jefferson stating “that the Constitution had ‘erected a wall of separation between church and state’” was dusted off (Feldman). It was then construed and twisted to support the idea that Jefferson meant that the state and federal governments should be guarded from the ideas of the religious, which Jefferson never imagined (Feldman). The people had to wait until he was good and dead to try that and get away with it.
Luther Kramer, in his letter to the editor titled, No Theocracy, But Allowed Expression wondered why it “has taken Christians several decades to challenge the historical context of Thomas Jefferson’s ‘wall of separation letter’ which was used to promote separation of church and state in 1947.” Kramer goes on to explain that the ruling handed down that year has been “called ‘bad history and bad law.’” Another misapplication, perhaps?
The above examples show that the battle over the church state issue has been anything, but consistent. Dionne said that Americans “....have seen a good deal of incoherence and inconsistency, a fair bit of hypocrisy and a huge amount of contention. We have muddled through in a way that has allowed Americans to believe and worship God as they chose to – and reject faith altogether if they are so inclined”. Our present Supreme Court is just as inconsistent with the current conflict as was the path through history.
So, is posting the Ten Commandments anywhere unconstitutional? Is merely displaying them coercing anyone to read them, let alone believe them, or live them? The Founding Fathers wanted the people to be free to exercise their religion without the government forcing the people to go against that which their consciences dictate. Because of misapplication of the law through the years this idea has been lost. With closer examination of the actions and words of the Founding Fathers and the framers of the Constitution, the Supreme Court could get a clearer idea of what was originally intended by the Constitution, and better guard the right to freedom of religion and expression. But the justices would have to be willing to do some soul searching and a lot more homework.

Works Cited

Dionne Jr., E.J. “American Spirit.” Book World. The Washington Post 10 July 2005: T7.

Feldman, Noah. Divided by God. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux. (2005).

First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States

Kramer, Luther. “No Theocracy, But Allowed Expression.” East Valley Tribune 30 July 2005: A18.

I Even Surprised Myself

2007-10-23T21:23:00.001-07:00

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

“Bandits” is a movie about two bank robbers who are exact opposites and a “kidnapped” heroine. Billy Bob Thornton plays a nerdy, neurotic hypochondriac with Bruce Willis playing a good looking womanizer with anger management problems. They rob a few banks and become well known. The heroine, an unappreciated housewife, fleeing from her self-absorbed husband and boring life runs into Thornton with her car. She makes him get in so she can take him to the hospital. Then he tells her that he is a dangerous, desperate man and she responds with, “You don’t know the meaning of desperate!” She gets involved with the bandits and eventually falls in love with both men. She can’t choose between them because in her mind, together they “make the perfect man.”

Being the wife of an ambitious husband and the daughter of a traditional, slightly crazy mother, I identified a great deal with the characters. I appreciated Thornton’s neuroses and the humor related to it. But the thing I enjoyed the most was the fantasy that Cate lived after her escape from the stereotypes, and expectations of others. “Bandits” was meaningful and enjoyable to me because of the colorful, daring characters, and the dream of doing or being anything that I would want without the insecurities and weaknesses that I’ve had throughout my life.

I immediately related to Cate’s character. During the first scene she is in, Cate is singing, dancing and cooking in a beautiful gourmet kitchen. I, too, love to do those things, especially for my family and friends (except for the dancing in public part). But then her doctor-husband walks in and when she excitedly tells him that she has made him an elaborate meal, he says he already ate and has to go to the gym. Why doesn’t she go see a movie? I remember a situation just like this one. Early in my marriage, my husband had just finished finals and was reading a novel. I had been looking forward to finally spending time with him and was peppering him with chit chat about the kids, my day, and anything else I could think of. He got frustrated with me for interrupting his reading and told me to call a friend. The feelings of disappointment and rejection really struck deeply and I felt devalued. I believed that he thought I was only able to take care of the house and children and that was all I was good for. Worst of all, I believed it, too. Because of this belief, I felt powerless and trapped.

The feeling and fear that I would be trapped in a stereotypical role of woman, wife and mother started well before that incident. My mother told me that although she, herself, always got As, she could have never taken a higher level of mathematics, like Trigonometry, because it was too hard for women. Women didn’t need all that stuff, anyway. I believed her and was always afraid of “hard” subjects that were traditionally for men, like chemistry and math. Billy Bob Thornton’s character in Bandits is a lot like my mother, smart, obsessive, overly cautious, analytical, neurotic, and dependant on others. My mother has a horrible, graphic story for every occasion. She told me repeatedly about the dangers of walking (OK, she said running) with a toothbrush in my mouth, falling in love, and believing anything I read. Yet, I should believe her because her life experiences and reading proved her wise. I thought at the time that I didn’t believe any of it, but as I’ve looked back, I can see that I did believe a lot.

I loved the movie because it let me escape even if just for ninety minutes. I became Cate, bold enough to leave my role and go on a crazy, spontaneous, rebellious joyride with two men who appreciated me for who I was, not what they thought I should be. But I tried the crazy, rebellious joyride once, and failed. I was not as successful as Cate. Right out of high school I took a far away job in San Diego working as a nanny for two U.S. Naval officers that were man and wife. This was my big chance! I was going to the big city to get some life experience so I could write my first book. I thought taking care of children would come naturally because I was a woman. I really stank at it. I was more interested in playing, reading, and writing than working. When I realized it and went to quit, I was called a “social butterfly” by my female, commanding officer boss and was told that I would never amount to anything unless I broke away from the false traditions that I had been taught about the place of women. Being crushed by her words, yet denying them, I went home and started my first freshman classes a week later. I was going to be the successful college student, career woman and prove them all wrong. But I got really sick two weeks before finals and didn’t take my exams. I thought I didn’t need those classes anyway, because I was engaged. I got two Fs and a D. I didn’t tell my mother. I thought she would again say, “I told you so.” In my mind, I had proven her right. I was a woman and a failure. All I could do was get married, have babies and keep a relatively clean house (of course it wasn’t as clean as my mother’s).

So I did. Surprisingly, my mother said that I took care of my husband, house and kids better than she had. I was grateful for that and I believed her. I had two children and decided that I wanted to try the school thing again. Because my husband and I were starving students, my father paid for my classes, again. He knew that I had made a mistake earlier and supported me in trying. My father had always supported me in anything that I tried. But for some reason his voice was quieter than others. I should have listened more closely. But I had to prove my own beliefs wrong before I could hear him. That first semester back, I got straight As. I got a 98% overall in my math class. My female teacher suggested I go on to Calculus because I had a gift and that was when math got fun. I felt empowered. I was a success at something other than motherhood. I no longer believed that I was powerless and trapped. I was 23 and had the ability to do anything I wanted. I could do it all if I wanted. But I knew that there was only so much of me to go around so I stayed home for another 15 years to be a mother, because I loved it, chose it, and am great at it. Since then, I’ve been told that I am bright and successful in many areas of my life, not just by my peers and teachers, but by a very surprised mother. And I believe them.

The Tender Mercies of the Lord

2005-08-29T03:24:00.000-07:00

The Book of Mormon

1 Nephi 1:20

"...behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverance."

"Knowledge of truth, combined with proper regard for it, and its faithful observance, constitutes true education. The mere stuffing of the mind with a knowledge of facts is not education. The mind must not only possess a knowledge of truth, but the soul must revere it, cherish it, love it as a priceless gem."

—Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine (1986), 269

"Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. . . . Peace comes through hope. "
—President James E. Faust
Ensign, Nov. 1999, 59

Is rhetorical sensitivity beyond my capability?

2005-07-06T19:59:00.000-07:00

I need help. I just started English 101 for the second time. The first time was fairly soon out of high school and we wrote a few fluff essays that I could whip out in a short amount of time and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Then I found out much to my dismay that I have to retake it now, not because I didn't get the grade I needed, but because I took it at an university that was still on the quarter system and it transfered down to my new college as 2 credits, not 3. The new college allowed me to take English 102 by mistake (I found out), and I got a reputable grade. Then was told when I talked to an advisor about applying into the nursing program that I needed English 101.

So I start English 101 thinking that it will be a quick five week repeat of my initial experience, only to find that my propensity for arbitrarily picking the toughest teacher on campus continues. Prior to starting class yesterday, I had delusions of getting fired up about possibly writing for fun again (like I did when I was in third grade, junior high and high school. I even had a teacher ask me to be sure to send her my first published work, which this would be, although I'm sure that this isn't what she had in mind).
After my bubble burst, I realized that my teacher will probably teach me some things that will help me in my educational pursuits that I could have used in my last three years of college. I will definitely have to work instead of glide through class, which is a good thing, although unexpected. I may even figure out how to employ rhetorical sensitivity to some degree. I hope that I can remember that learning is a worthy occupation as I struggle with new concepts and that writing can still be fun even if it is work.